Why I will never use Expedia again: part one

I've spent the last 730 days on the road travelling, bouncing across the planet from one commission to another. I book all our travel online - air, bus and ferry tickets, hotel rooms, you name it. It's been years since I've stepped foot in an agency and years since I held a paper ticket in my hands. Up until now I've not had a single problem. I've bought all my air tickets on airline travel sites - and I've taken scores of flights over the last couple of years - and up until recently I made many of my hotel bookings using Expedia. But never again... A week ago, after comparing prices on a number of sites, I decided to buy our air tickets from Cyprus to Crete on Expedia. It was my shopping mistake of the century! Firstly, Expedia emailed me to say that despite offering an electronic ticketing option, they were now not able to provide e-tickets. Moments later, an email arrived telling me they'd couriered my paper tickets to my billing address - in Dubai! But I was in Cyprus. When I emailed Expedia to redirect the tickets to Cyprus instead ,as I had no way of accessing tickets in Dubai, they sent me a meaningless email telling me to phone their USA sales staff. I was flabbergasted. An online agency instructing its customers to phone them? And to phone them on a 1800 number at that. Don't they realise that people outside the US cannot call 1800 numbers? And why on earth can't an online business resolve problems - problems that they have created - by email? I frequently travel with Emirates Airlines and when I want to change a flight, no matter where in the world I am, I send a quick email. They immediately email with confirmation. Easy. Why a major web travel business like Expedia can't do the same is beyond me, and 7 days and 19 ridiculous emails later, I am still left wondering. And if they must speak to me, then why can't they call me (particularly as they have created the problem), instead of them expecting me to phone them? Not only is telephoning often an impossibility when I'm travelling all day every day, especially in remote areas, but when I'm in a hotel room it's a costly effort - the cost of a ten minute call from one hotel I checked with to the USA would have been in the vicinity of US$100. The tickets are only costing US$200!

The graffiti pictured is on a wall in the old town of Nicosia, the world's last divided city, in the northern Turkish-speaking area of Cyprus. This is how I'm feeling about the thought of ever having to use Expedia again.

Why I will never use Expedia again: part two

And the saga continues... Expedia's silliest email came six days ago when they actually suggested I get a friend in the US to collect the paper tickets and post them to me! Oh hang on, yesterday's email suggesting I file a "Lost Ticket Application" must take the cake. Especially considering I don't have any tickets to lose. You see, Expedia has taken both a service fee and the cost of the tickets from my credit card - and today they even went as far as to send me confirmation of travel - yet I don't even have ticket numbers. Essentially, Expedia has stolen from me. They've taken money from me for no service in return, nor are they attempting to even providing anything resembling service, unless you consider the 19 meaningless cut and pasted emails from the likes of 'Venus', 'Atlas' and 'Doris'. Despite my repeated requests for a manager to intervene to resolve the situation, there doesn't seem to be anybody in a position of power to direct these moronic robots who churn out these senseless emails, let alone anyone even capable of writing an email explaining why they need to speak to me and what can be done by an expensive phone call that can't be done by free email. The most annoying thing is that my husband and I are due to travel in a few days to start researching a new travel guide book - on tickets we don't have. If they can't resolve this issue by email, I know what I'll be writing instead...

We saw the sign pictured on a walk through the Arkamas Peninsula, Cyprus. A typical Cypriot hunter flouting local laws? Or had he been dealing with Expedia?