The affection that comes with familiarity versus the energy of an unfamiliar destination

Only two of the nine countries we visited in the last six months were new to us, places we hadn’t been before and were experiencing for the first time. Obviously, as travel writers, it’s inevitable that we end up returning to places time and time again, particularly as we develop expertise in certain places, as my husband Terry and I have with the Middle East where we've been based since 1998. But while I love the excitement and energy of the new and relish opportunities to get out of our comfort zone and go somewhere we haven't been before (there’s nothing quite like that first drive from an airport into a new city, is there?), I also enjoy returning to places we’ve been before, some times many times before. Because there is a certain affection that grows over time as you become more familiar with a place, don’t you think? The more you visit, even if you’re not exactly besotted by the destination, the more you come to develop a bundle of warm feelings for it. And when you return… well, it’s just like seeing an old friend again. Love them or hate them, you just want to hug them! What do you think? Know those feelings? Which do you prefer? The familiarity that comes with the known or the excitement of the unfamiliar?

Pictured? Dubai, the closest thing I have to a home, and a place I love more and more each time I return after being away.

Are you a once-in-a-lifetime traveller or a creature of habit?

Are you a ‘once-in-a-lifetime’ traveller? That is, every country you visit you consider it to be a ‘once-in-a-lifetime’ experience and treat it as such? Do you go to a place thinking you may never get back there again so everything you do is a special adventure? Do you go with the idea that you won’t even dream of returning because there are simply too many other amazing places to explore in the world? Maybe it's more of a financial imperative? Or, do you travel thinking you are definitely going to return some day, so you take it easy, kick back, and don’t put too much pressure on the trip? And in doing so, you find you appreciate the place and the little experiences and everyday moments more? Indeed, if this is a place you end up liking a lot, you won’t have a problem returning the next year, and the next, and perhaps the one after that… so that by the time you’re 80 you could be leaning over to the diners at the next table one night to boast “my husband/wife and I have been coming here every summer for the last 30 years”, as a very contented woman told us one evening in Capri as her beloved husband sliced a ripe juicy peach for her after their meal – a habit that seemed so matter-of-fact, he’d probably been doing it for 30 years… So, which traveller are you? Do have one travel preference over another? Or do you mix it up with destinations you treat as once-in-a-lifetime experiences and favorite holiday spots you return to every year? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

When you travel, how often do you stop to sit on the steps of a fountain?

I did stop to smell the roses today in my uncle and aunt's garden. There are roses just outside the French doors to the library, which has become our office for the time that we're holed up here writing, so I have no excuse for not taking a sniff more often. And the roses are smelling especially fragrant at the moment. There's been rain this week and the garden is in full bloom despite it being the beginning of autumn (or fall, for my North American friends). But as I inhaled the scent, I did think 'Damn, I don't do this enough!' And I was reminded of a friend I used to work with who called me a robot and who frequently told me I needed to stop and smell the roses more often. So as I was looking for a photo today - no time for reminiscing, I simply had to identify a building in a city in Italy we wrote about which I'd become confused about (and that's what you get for travelling as much as we do) - I spotted this photo I'd taken in Bologna last summer. And while I've looked at the photo several times - mainly so I could describe the fountain for a book I was writing - I'd never really stopped to look at the photo properly. Because I had never noticed the kids sitting on the steps of the fountain before. All I had seen was the photo. Which led me to think about how many times I've passed fountains on our travels, especially in Europe (we spend a lot of time in Europe), and noticed locals and travellers alike sitting on the steps of fountains, eating their lunch, drinking whatever, reading books, or just fooling around, and how many times I've been rushing past going somewhere, doing something (always working), and thinking how nice it would be to be able to stop and sit on the steps of a fountain sometime... to be on holidays, or just to be taking life more slowly. Just to be living the kind of life that allows one to stop and sit on the steps of a fountain. Because it's not that I don't have the opportunities. I probably see more fountains in piazzas than most people. I definitely see more fountains than roses when I travel. So 'sitting on the steps of a fountain' is going to be my 'stopping to smell the roses'. My way of measuring the pace of my life, of keeping my work-life balance in check. Because now... well, it's a little out of whack. So, how often do you take time out to sit on the steps of a fountain when you travel?