Top 10 dream tours

I'm not a fan of guided tours as you know, although if I was forced to do a tour and I was free to select my own guide and devise my own itinerary, then that's another thing. An engaging expert, some alluring destinations... so here are my top 10 dream tours:
10) a global surfing safari to the world's best kept secret beaches with Kelly Slater (well, Terry will surf, I'm going to bum around the beach and pretend I'm 16 again)
9) an eclectic musical journey through South America with David Byrne
8) walkabout in outback Western Australia with indigenous guide Darren 'Capes' Capewell
7) a fast-forward trip to the Dubai of the future with the city-emirate's visionary ruler Sheikh Mohammed
6) a political study tour-cum-road trip through the Middle East in an old Mercedes with Robert Fisk
5) a tour of fashion capital Antwerp and its funky ateliers with wild Antwerp Six designer Walter Van Beirendonck
4) a tour to the Asian and Argentine movie locations of Wong Kar Wai's films guided by the filmmaker
3) a cruise down the Seine in style with Paul Weller, with Style Council's Cafe Bleu as background music naturally
2) a melodramatic journey through Spain with filmmaker Pedro Almodovar, beginning and ending in Madrid
and, lastly, my ultimate dream tour would have to be
1) a round-the-world-in-80-meals tour with chef Anthony Bourdain, including plenty of opportunities to dine barefoot on beaches within splashing distance of the sea.
So, what's your idea of an ultimate dream tour?